i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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