Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
