Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
