I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
