Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
