I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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