two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
