I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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