I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
