trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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