If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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