So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
