So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just puked most of my soul out..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
