it hurts more in the daytime
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
