happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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