the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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