Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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