im holly from the hills drunk
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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