if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
