can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
