While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
