are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
