it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
