How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
