I hate your face
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
