I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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