Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
