We won't sleep together?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
