new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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