i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize