I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
