You're completely useless in the revolution.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
