Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
