Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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