Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
