when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
