Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
