so that wasnt chicken after all
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
