your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So vagazzling was a success
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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