That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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