it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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