i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
