Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
