You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
