At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
