Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
