I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
