i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
