I love black thongs
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
