I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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