Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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