I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
