Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
