She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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