He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
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