it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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