Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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