i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
