i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
