yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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