so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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