She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize