the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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