Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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