i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
