she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize